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Urban One Honors w/ Mary J. Blige
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Everyone can admit to having an argument or disagreement with someone and holding a grudge. After a day or more, you have that talk and you think you have forgiven them but you have those moments of replay in your head again. Now you’re mad all over and ready to distance yourself. I want to let you know that it is okay to not be satisfied with just an apology but I do want to share three ways you can forgive someone!

1.  Identify your feelings 

It’s so easy to say your mad at someone but think about yourself and say are you more hurt then you are mad? Imagine how a conversation can shift when you say ” Hey, I am very hurt by what you said and I am separating myself from you to heal from our last conversation.” You have to really learn about yourself and figure out what are things that trigger your emotions. One thing I know I have learned about myself is that I can be sensitive and that doesn’t make me weak, it just means I need to recognize things that I am sensitive to.

2.  Understand the person who hurt you 

Everyone makes mistake and we can’t walk out when things don’t go the way we want them to. Sometimes it takes more than just one conversation for a relationship to get back right. If you are struggling to forgive someone, write down the pros about the relationship you have created with them and see if this hurt is enough to truly end it.

3. Every situation is different 

We have to stop using other situations as a blueprint for all situations. Those that have hurt you in the past is a different outcome with different results. We try to protect ourselves when we see similarities from other things that have hurt us in the past but we must be honest and learn that everyone is going to hurt us. How we handle the hurt is how we control the outcome, the only thing you can control is yourself.