“Ashes to ashes, dust to side chicks,” – Beyonce
Yes ladies, we are going there in this article. Many of us have either encounter the other woman, side chick, mistress what have you in relationships. Some of you may have been the other woman willingly or unwillingly.
Why are we talking about this? Last week Alicia Keys released her latest song “Blended Family *(What Would You Do For Love)” and everybody in social media had an opinion. Some thought it was noble to see both Alicia, her husband Swizz Beatz, and his ex-wife Mashonda to come together, heal and grow as a blended family. Others were not amused and thought Mashonda was crazy to be cool with the woman who is rumored of breaking up her family and marriage.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BLPLXhsDwuE/
Swizz Beatz also took to Instagram to say he was “proud of all of us.”
Now, this is beautiful and if you like it I love it. However, it must have taken some time for Mashonda to find it in herself to forgive Keys if she honestly believed she wrecked her happy home. We can sit her for days ladies and argue if this makes her weak or strong. What we all can agree is that she is her own woman and she chose forgiveness over hate. By forgiving, I believe she may have finally been able to heal and come out stronger.
If you are in the situation right now fighting or just discovering the other woman, our friends at Hello Beautiful put together a list of steps to take to survive your heartbreak.
DO remember that she was not the one in a monogamous relationship with you—so even if she was your friend, she was not the one betraying the rules of your romantic partnership. Give yourself a designated period of time to hate her (but keep it short, as in, not a decade). In that time, call her every name you can think of to yourself, not on social media or her Facebook page, imagine every possible way you can punch her in the face and rage and cry as necessary. Then remind yourself as many times as possible that she did not break the rules, he did.
DON’T be a martyr and blame yourself for whatever went down between them. All relationships have problems and yours did before the cheating. However, if your partner was being a decent and responsible person, they would have ended the relationship if it was causing them misery—instead they cheated on you. Their fault, not yours.
DO know that holding onto resentment hurts you way more in the long run than it hurts them. The stress can lead to illness, grey hair, a long list of symptoms both serious and cosmetic. You will feel the weight of the anger until you let it go.
To read the rest of the Do’s and Don’ts you can go here. So if you are clutching your pearls, let us know how you feel. Could you really and honestly forgive the other woman?
